Respect

"People don't respect me because I am fat."

"No, the point is you don't respect you."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, do you? Do you respect you?"

"No."

"That may be why you don't think they respect you. You teach them how to treat you."

Are you using fat on your body as an excuse not to respect yourself? Are you wearing clothes that don't look nice on your body? Keeping your closet and bathroom a mess? Shoving garbage in your mouth without paying one bit of attention?

You might say it is because you are fat that you don't feel like taking care of yourself. But the truth is- it is because you aren't taking care of yourself that you have extra fat. Self-respect is an inner process that requires work. It requires clearing out your mind of all negative thinking and self-talk. You will see the results of this work manifested in your external environment-including your body.

I find that you can do this work at the same time and it works even better. If you clean out your mental closet and at the same time clean out your real closet you have a visual manifestation of the work.

Many times my clients say they will do things once they lose the weight- I always encourage them to do those things now. To live in the state of self love and respect in a way that is abundant.

You might try pulling all the clothes out of your closet the next time you feel like overeating. I mean every last one. Put them in a big pile on you bed. Then clean your closet. Wipe it down. Vacuum the carpet. Touch up the paint. Then, replace only the items you LOVE to wear. Find things that fit you beautifully and are high quality. Replace clothes that give you a sense of yourself when you wear them. Get a huge garbage bag and fill it with items that you haven't worn in a year.

Pretend like you are the Queen and your closet needs to be organized, clean and presentable. Your closet can be a place you would be proud to show a friend on a tour of your home. Don't have it be one more thing you have to excuse.

You can repeat this process for the drawers in your bathroom and your kitchen. Clutter in your home is the same thing as clutter on your body; they come from the same disrespect for yourself. By dong the external and internal work at the same time, you are increasing your chances for success.

If other people don't respect you, that is their business. It tells you about them. What is your life telling you about you?

What Really Matters to my Clients

It is that time of year when I hear from clients I haven't heard from in a while. They send me cards with pictures and notes in the mail. More often than not, they tell me that they have and are living a wonderful life. They thank me for the tools, I introduced them to, that have given them back to themselves.

The common theme in the notes I receive is that they now love themselves and have hope for their future. They talk about how they have improved their relationships with the people they love, gone after some long lost dreams, and increased their daily amount of joy. Then, without fanfare, they mention how much weight they have lost. It is usually a very significant number of pounds, but it is not the point of their note.

I love this more than anything. It confirms my belief that when we love and respect ourselves, when we create our own joy, when we take responsibility for a conscious life; weight loss is inevitable. But it is also secondary to how good we feel.

We come thinking that we want to LOSE weight, but what we really want is to FIND ourselves.

I want to thank each and every one of my clients for being a part of my life. I think of you often, and it is so fun to hear your updates. Each of you have taken me deeper into myself. Each of you have inspired me to remain connected to the person I have found underneath the fat- My True Self.

I love you all and hope you have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Wanting More Money Part 1 and 2 and 3 Posted

Blog.brookecastillo.com

Greedy for What's Inside You?

I love reading "O" The Oprah Magazine. It is my monthly non-food treat. It is always filled with great articles and interviews. This month, on page 19, it has a mind-pausing quote:

"Why do so many...settle for so little? I don't understand why they are not greedy for what is inside them." -Jack Gilbert (Poet)

Wow.

When I read this, every part of me resonated with it. I do feel greedy for "what is inside me," because it feels like it is not of me. It feels like it comes from something bigger and connected. I have found that when I look for what is inside me, the journey towards joy is successful; and when I am greedy for what is "outside" of me, the journey leaves me empty.

Find it within and then it manifests. Isn't that the message of The Secret and the Law of Attraction that we have all heard so much about? In my life, nothing seems to be more true than this premise. I have found more joy on a Tuesday sitting in silence than I ever did seeking gurus or on pilgramges to Europe,Figi, or Los Angeles.

I have found, within myself, a passion to live in a very specific way and I have listened. I have found everything that I was ever looking for in food, a mate, a career or a friend within me at each moment. It is magical, and yes, I am greedy for more...

Wanting More Podcast

For those of you who are interested, I am doing a podcast series with my colleague Meadow DeVor on "Wanting More." We will be covering topics like Wanting more Money, Wanting more Confidence, Wanting more Friends, Wanting more Health, Wanting more Fun....and on until we run out of topics.

The podcast is free and can be subscribed to through itunes, itube or directly through my podcast blog at blog.brookecastillo.com.

Please Enjoy!

Being Myself

In my practice, my main goal with my clients is to show them that they are spectacular. No matter what they think about themselves or accept about themselves- I encourage them to at least BE themselves.

In almost any situation a client can ask me what to do and I can answer with, "Be yourself. Tell the truth. The people who accept your truth are your people. The people who don't accept your truth aren't your people and that is ok."

I know this is easier than it sounds. I live my truth. I tell my truth. And, frankly, some people don't like it and some people do. But that is not relevant. I believe that I am meant to live in an authentic and genuine way, and sometimes that is just plain confusing.

For example:

I LOVE the work of Byron Katie and Abraham. I love to meditate. I love yoga. I can sit in silence for hours and not get bored. I love hiking in silence. BUT I also love Dane Cook and loud 80's rap. I love obnoxious laughter and having so much fun I get kicked out of a restaurant.

I love kindness-that deep, unabashed, loving, unconditional, I-would-do-anything-for- you kindness. But I also love sarcasm and mockery.

I love expensive cars like BMW and Mercedes-but I also love Velveeta Cheese and plastic plates from Walmart.

I love technology and email and iphones, but I also love nature and wild animals and our planet.

I am loud and in-your-face and bold, and then sometimes I am quiet and very shy.

I eat high-grade fuel for my body and then every once in a while I order and eat Nachos from Taco Bell.

I am a mass of contradictions. I am confusing and unpredictable. It is exciting and fun and scary and humbling living this life in a way that feels authentic.

I have friends who cringe when I swear and others who complain when I don't. I have friends who are Atheists and friends who are Catholics. I love them all deeply. I notice they have contradictions just like me. I notice they are as confused by themselves and by this life just as much as I am.

But what I also notice, is that when I live my life in a way that feels "Brooke," in a way that feels authentically true, I am happy. It doesn't mean I won't change my mind or switch directions or live in complete contradiction. It just means that I seek my truth and live it no matter what.

And the people who can stand it-stay. And those who can't-leave, and I can't blame them.

But I always have me. And that is enough.

Are you living your truth?

Unexpected Gratitude

Two things happened to me this year that were unexpected, delightful, loving and overwhelming. I thought I would use this blog to share them with you because it's the time of year when miracles are in the air. I have a belief that the world and its in habitants rock, and here is my proof....

Thing that happened #1: I am going to have to make a long story short so stay with me. A few months ago, I traveled with Martha Beck, Meadow DeVor and Koelle Simpson to Montana to stay at the Paws Up Ranch. I realize that this alone is enough to be grateful for for years, but there is more. One evening while at the ranch I got into a golf cart drag race with a few of my traveling companions. It was dark and cold outside and the flap on the golf cart kept getting in my way of taunting my opponent- so I kept flipping it up to talk smack as we passed. (Of course we won.)

What I didn't realize was that during this late-night, mud-spraying, golf cart drag race my wedding ring had flown off my finger. I guess my fingers had shrunk because of the cold and in grabbing the flap of the golf cart and flipping it....well the ring could have been anywhere.

Here are the miracles that followed:

1. When I got back to our cabin and noticed the ring was gone I did not panic. Meadow did not panic. We went and looked for the ring-BUT NEVER STOPPED LAUGHING AND HAVING FUN. We did not argue with reality or let it ruin our night.

2. When I emailed my husband to tell him the bad news his reply came through, "Well, Christmas is coming." ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????

3.Now this is the one that takes the cake: The next morning we were driving to the stable and I was talking to my friends in the van about what had happened. The driver, WES, was there listening. Now Wes was not supposed to be there because he had said goodbye the night before knowing that this day was going to be his day off. So we were happy and surprised to see him. He had come in just to drive us to the stable because someone had called in sick. We said goodbye again when he dropped us off-and we hoped we would see him next year.

Much to my surprise- 5 HOURS LATER - I see Wes coming into the stable area with an envelope. MY RING!!!!!!!!!!! He had spent five hours looking for and finding my ring ON HIS DAY OFF. When he handed it to me I started sobbing. Those of you who have met me know that I do not cry easily- but i could not help myself. I had to go the bathroom to get a grip.

This was the most unexpected act of kindness I have ever experienced. I thanked him for ten straight minutes and all he could say was, "It truly was an honor." I am still not sure how he found it in the mud and gravel and fields-but I will never forget his act of kindness for as long as I live.

I wrote the owners of the resort a letter with a check for Wes. I insisted that they insist he take it. (Wes is the kind of person that would refuse it.) I will never be able to repay him for finding my beloved ring-but even more importantly I will never be able to repay him for this overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude that fills my heart at this moment just thinking about the experience.


Thing that happened #2: For those of you who read this blog regularly, you will understand how amazing this one is. I woke up this morning to the Fedex guy ringing my door bell. When I opened the box and looked inside there was another box with LOUIS VUITTON written on it. (Yes. Let's pause in honor.) My mind was racing trying to remember what I had purchased from Louis-but let's just say when you spend money at this store it is not something you soon forget and I knew I hadn't EVER bought anything from them,let alone recently.

And what should be inside????


A RED. PATENT LEATHER. LOUIS VUITTON. HANDBAG.

THE EXACT ONE THAT WAS MY "PUPPY IN THE WINDOW" BAG.


Brace yourself for this...

Guess who it was from?

ONE OF YOU! ONE OF MY READERS AND MY CLIENTS!!!!

One of you who had read that reference in one of my blogs AND THEN HAD IT SENT TO MY HOUSE FOR ME FOR CHRISTMAS.


I am in a state of heightened gratitude, appreciation and awe.

It is not about the bag. (Don't get me wrong-the bag is smokin hot.)

It is not about my desire for the bag. (Don't get me wrong- I am materialistic that way.)

It is not about it being the best Christmas present EVER.

It is about the THOUGHT. (I realize this cliche is so overused I shouldn't use it again-but I will because it IS TRUE.)


One generous, loving, wonderful, OUT OF THE BOX thought that literally has me on clouds today.

And you know what I am thinking????? What can I do to pay this forward? I want to be as thoughtful as she was.

I want to give someone the gift of OVERWHELMING UNEXPECTED GRATITUDE because I have had my fair share this year.


Are you in?

I Am Not Your Magic

I took on a new client last week who had been on my waiting list for quite a while. After the first week of coaching, she lost four pounds. She was dissapointed. She thought that the minute she hired me she would lose ten. She wanted me to have a secret, a magic pill. She wanted me to say the perfect thing.

I explained to her that my work was about helping her access her magic. I told her that what she genuinely wanted was to feel acceptable, appreciated and loved. I could feel that way towards her all day long, but until she felt her for herself, she wouldn't believe me. She thought I could love her enough to make her lack of self love not matter. This is a common mistake.

I am so glad I couldn't give her magic or love her enough. If I could, she might become dependent on me. She might think her only way to be happy would be to keep paying me or move to my town. She would think that I had something she didn't. And I don't.

The only difference between us is that I don't eat when I am not hungry. I don't seek happiness in things outside of myself. I don't believe that there is anyone or anything "out there" that has something I need to feel good. I know that a thin body is not happiness, but the effect of happiness. I know that what I need is within me now. It is what beats my heart and warms my soul when I remove all the negative thinking in the way.

I am not your magic.
I am my magic.
And you are yours.

You First!

Many of you have heard me talk about this before-but too bad. I have had to coach this so much lately that I wanted to give us all a reminder.

What is it you think THEY aren't doing or should be doing?

Come on. Think about it.

Here are a few I have heard in the last three days:

He should respect me.
She should not copy me.
They should be nicer to me.
He should compliment me.
He should notice my body.
He should acknowledge I have lost weight.
He should take me to nice dinners.
She should listen to me.
She could care more.
She acts like I don't exist.

Honestly, what we expect from THEM!!!

They should be able to do it all the time for us. No matter we can't muster a kind word for ourselves ever and we can't remember the last time we gave ourselves a compliment! But they better damn well do it.

When I tell my client to be more kind to herself, she tells me it is too difficult. She tells me that it is hard to remember. She tells me that she forgets. SHE CAN'T DO IT FOR HERSELF AND YET IS PISSED THAT HER BOYFRIEND WON'T DO IT.

When I tell my client to pay attention to herself when she feels like her daughter doesn't return her phone calls, she tells me she doesn't know how. BUT SHE EXPECTS HER DAUGHTER TO KNOW HOW.

I want my husband to stop getting frustrated at me when I forget things. I want him to be more patient and understanding. AND YET I CAN'T CUT MYSELF ANY SLACK SOMETIMES.

So notice, my friends, the next time you want something from someone. My guess is you aren't giving it to yourself.

Marianne Williamson taught met that A Course in Miracles says: "The only thing missing in any situation is what you aren't giving."

You want more love. Love yourself. You want more attention. HELLO SELF. You want kindness. When is the last time you were truly kind and loving to you?

You want a new, red, patent leather Louis Vuitton handbag?

Don't hold your breath.

Call me. I'll come with.