Well, at least I hope you are. It is Halloween! There is so much candy in my house right now I could feed a small country. And yes, I am going to eat some.
The difference between this year and ten years ago is not that I am going to eat candy. I have eaten candy each Halloween. The difference is that I will not beat myself up for it. I will not fight against the urge and eat everything in sight. I will eat candy and I will enjoy it and I will not feel one bad emotion because I did.
So I recommend you do the same. Think about your favorite candy. Plan to eat it slowly and savor it. My favorite is mini Butterfinger. How YUMMY IS THAT? And I will most definitely have me a little Milk Dud box and possibly a Tootsie Pop or two. I will not waste my time with candy that is just ok. I am not really interested in a Snickers or a Hershey's Kiss. And I MOST DEFINITELY will not eat an Almond Joy. This is my husband's favorite candy bar and I seriously would rather eat spinach.
I will make sure I have a good dinner that includes some fuel and then I will go through all the candy in my home and in my kid's trick or treat bags. I will pick about 5-10 pieces that I know I will enjoy and then I will savor each bite.
Please do the same. Don't eat just any old candy until you feel sick. Don't beat yourself up over candy. It is so not worth it. You have a right to enjoy Halloween.
Pick your favorite treat and enjoy!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Tell Your Truth
Recently, I was struggling with what to do in a highly tense situation. There were many people involved and some of them were having conflict and I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make the conflict worse by making the “wrong” decision. I struggled and struggled in my mind asking myself, “Which course of action would be most helpful and benign to the conflict?” When I couldn’t come up with the right answer I asked one of the people involved what she thought I should do. She looked at me without hesitation and with no agenda and said, “ I think you should do what you want to do.” It was amazing. Such a simple solution!
So I went inside myself and ignored the conflict and the people involved and asked myself for what I wanted. Immediately the answer was completely clear and the struggle within me dissolved. Literally it took one minute from the time I asked the question.
Later that same day this same person was struggling with her own decision concerning the conflict. As we were talking it became clear she wasn’t sure how to communicate with the person she was having a conflict with. She was trying to come up with the right words and the right behavior in order not to hurt this person's feelings and yet still get what she needed. Here is what I said to her:
Tell him the truth. Straight up.
I believe that we need to tell our truth, and when we do people will react.
The people who react with judgment and anger are not our people.
She agreed.
So what amazes me about this whole experience is that we both took seemingly very complex and tense situations and made them simple and clear in a very short period of time by asking ourselves what our own truth was.
By asking:
What do I want?
What is my truth?
We eliminated the confusion and found relief immediately. By eliminating conflict and confusion we eliminate many of the feelings that lead to fog eating. By remaining clear in our minds, we can remain clear in our eating.
Not sure what to do?
Ask yourself for the truth.
So I went inside myself and ignored the conflict and the people involved and asked myself for what I wanted. Immediately the answer was completely clear and the struggle within me dissolved. Literally it took one minute from the time I asked the question.
Later that same day this same person was struggling with her own decision concerning the conflict. As we were talking it became clear she wasn’t sure how to communicate with the person she was having a conflict with. She was trying to come up with the right words and the right behavior in order not to hurt this person's feelings and yet still get what she needed. Here is what I said to her:
Tell him the truth. Straight up.
I believe that we need to tell our truth, and when we do people will react.
The people who react with judgment and anger are not our people.
She agreed.
So what amazes me about this whole experience is that we both took seemingly very complex and tense situations and made them simple and clear in a very short period of time by asking ourselves what our own truth was.
By asking:
What do I want?
What is my truth?
We eliminated the confusion and found relief immediately. By eliminating conflict and confusion we eliminate many of the feelings that lead to fog eating. By remaining clear in our minds, we can remain clear in our eating.
Not sure what to do?
Ask yourself for the truth.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Anything I Want
I used to dream about eating anything I wanted. I honestly thought that heaven was defined by eating whatever you want without gaining weight. I was 10 years old.
Today,as an adult, I experienced my childhood vision of heaven. I went to the grocery store with my kids and told them they could buy whatever they wanted for dinner. They both bought chemical filled Kid TV Dinners and Bottle Pops (don't ask).
I then decided I would give myself permission to buy whatever I wanted in the entire store for my dinner because my husband is out of town and I don't have to cook. After walking the aisles, I decided I wanted sliced salami, brie and a baguette. But more importantly, I wanted People, US and Oprah magazines. Interesting.
So we came home and put on Sponge Bob and ate "whatever we wanted". It was fun. I ate about 10 pieces of salami, about one-third of the brie and one-third of the baguette.
And then I felt sick.
So I got a bottle of water, my O magazine, and curled up by the fire and had a cuddle with my son.
Now, that, truly was heaven.
It's not about the food and it never was.
Today,as an adult, I experienced my childhood vision of heaven. I went to the grocery store with my kids and told them they could buy whatever they wanted for dinner. They both bought chemical filled Kid TV Dinners and Bottle Pops (don't ask).
I then decided I would give myself permission to buy whatever I wanted in the entire store for my dinner because my husband is out of town and I don't have to cook. After walking the aisles, I decided I wanted sliced salami, brie and a baguette. But more importantly, I wanted People, US and Oprah magazines. Interesting.
So we came home and put on Sponge Bob and ate "whatever we wanted". It was fun. I ate about 10 pieces of salami, about one-third of the brie and one-third of the baguette.
And then I felt sick.
So I got a bottle of water, my O magazine, and curled up by the fire and had a cuddle with my son.
Now, that, truly was heaven.
It's not about the food and it never was.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Eat or Feel?
This is the choice we have in front of us. Anytime a negative feeling comes up we have the choice to go the kitchen or visit ourselves. So many times we tell our own selves to "talk to the hand." We ignore our need to feel. We ignore what the feeling represents or what it is trying to tell us. We choose not to listen. We walk away from ourselves and into the kitchen for crackers, oreos, or left over mac and cheese.
Imagine how we must feel when we do this to ourselves. Imagine what it must feel like to be ignored and "shut up" with food. Imagine what it is like to be burdened with excess weight and unfelt emotions. But you don't have to imagine this scenario do you? You don't have to imagine what this feels like, because you know. You are familiar with self neglect if you are overfed.
It really is a choice. You can choose to feel an emotion from beginning to end. You can choose to write about it in your journal in detail. You can choose to let a vibration go through your body. That is what a feeling is-a vibration in your physical body that you try to dull with lots of food.
So next time you feel the urge to eat, sit on your couch and feel. When you think you can't stand it for one more second-keep sitting and keep feeling. Don't fight the feeling with your willpower, allow it with your heart. Repeat until the feeling is gone. Notice the thought that caused the feeling.
If you continue this process you will find yourself and hear yourself. You will give yourself the attention you are seeking. You will be in your body without distraction-awake for each moment. Connected.
Meet yourself. You're waiting.
Imagine how we must feel when we do this to ourselves. Imagine what it must feel like to be ignored and "shut up" with food. Imagine what it is like to be burdened with excess weight and unfelt emotions. But you don't have to imagine this scenario do you? You don't have to imagine what this feels like, because you know. You are familiar with self neglect if you are overfed.
It really is a choice. You can choose to feel an emotion from beginning to end. You can choose to write about it in your journal in detail. You can choose to let a vibration go through your body. That is what a feeling is-a vibration in your physical body that you try to dull with lots of food.
So next time you feel the urge to eat, sit on your couch and feel. When you think you can't stand it for one more second-keep sitting and keep feeling. Don't fight the feeling with your willpower, allow it with your heart. Repeat until the feeling is gone. Notice the thought that caused the feeling.
If you continue this process you will find yourself and hear yourself. You will give yourself the attention you are seeking. You will be in your body without distraction-awake for each moment. Connected.
Meet yourself. You're waiting.
Monday, October 01, 2007
How are you treating your exercise?
For some reason, I don't like to talk about exercise to my clients or in seminars. Maybe it is the revulsion in their faces, maybe it is the eye rolls, or maybe it is because I know they don't want to do it and I have my sales job cut out for me. Bottom line is that exercise is required and exercise is distasteful to many many people.
I think maybe the reason is that we mis-use exercise. Some of us use exercise the way others use people. We use it to get what we want. We use it to lose weight fast. We use it to punish ourselves. We use as proof that we are incapable of losing weight. If exercise were a friend of ours, or a person we knew, we could describe the way we treat it as downright rude.
We rarely ever spend time with it and when we do we complain the whole time. We get angry at it for not giving us what we want-namely pounds lost the minute we are finished. We say we are going to show up to see it and we don't. We make excuses as to why we can't spend time with it. We tell it that it is important and valuable and that we are committed and then we let it down time after time.
Think of exercise as the person in your life that is only there to help you. Exercise wants to give you health and vigor. Exercise is the person that wants to tell you the truth about where you are physically. Exercise is honorable, consistent, and true. Exercise is the loyal friend who is worth your time. It may not be exciting each time you spend time with it, but each time you do-you feel yourself getting stronger and stronger.
Sometimes I consider keeping people in my life by who I am when I am with them. If exercise were a person that I hung out with, I would know this is a person I want to keep in my life. Whenever I spend time with it I feel proud, capable, strong, and committed. I give myself the gift of exercise-not because of what I can take from it-but because I am a better person with it in my life. Weight loss or not.
Give yourself the gift of exercise. It is a relationship worth nurturing.
I think maybe the reason is that we mis-use exercise. Some of us use exercise the way others use people. We use it to get what we want. We use it to lose weight fast. We use it to punish ourselves. We use as proof that we are incapable of losing weight. If exercise were a friend of ours, or a person we knew, we could describe the way we treat it as downright rude.
We rarely ever spend time with it and when we do we complain the whole time. We get angry at it for not giving us what we want-namely pounds lost the minute we are finished. We say we are going to show up to see it and we don't. We make excuses as to why we can't spend time with it. We tell it that it is important and valuable and that we are committed and then we let it down time after time.
Think of exercise as the person in your life that is only there to help you. Exercise wants to give you health and vigor. Exercise is the person that wants to tell you the truth about where you are physically. Exercise is honorable, consistent, and true. Exercise is the loyal friend who is worth your time. It may not be exciting each time you spend time with it, but each time you do-you feel yourself getting stronger and stronger.
Sometimes I consider keeping people in my life by who I am when I am with them. If exercise were a person that I hung out with, I would know this is a person I want to keep in my life. Whenever I spend time with it I feel proud, capable, strong, and committed. I give myself the gift of exercise-not because of what I can take from it-but because I am a better person with it in my life. Weight loss or not.
Give yourself the gift of exercise. It is a relationship worth nurturing.
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