So many of us miss it. We get so focused on counting calories and being hungry that we forget that the reason we want to be thin is so we won’t be miserable. And then we proceed to self-inflict misery through dieting and deprivation. Thin misery vs. fat misery, it is still misery.
There is a huge difference between a healthy, strong, well-fueled body and a thin, malnourished, tired body. One brims with vitality and energy and vigor. It is sturdy and solid. It is connected-it is an example of self-love. The other is withered and weak and wanting. It is frail and listless, panicked and hungry. It is deprived and longing for care and self-love. It finds no joy in being thin.
I recently met a woman who was thin and miserable. She smiled at me when she talked, but her eyes looked sad. She told me how terrified she was to gain the weight back and asked me if I could help her stay thin. When I asked her why she was so terrified to gain it back, she said, “I don’t want to be unhappy again.” I asked her if she was happy now. She looked back at me like I was missing the point. But I hadn’t missed the point, she had.
When you create a lifestyle that helps you manifest your vitality- you feel more alive. The more alive you feel, the less concerned you are with the size of your jeans. You feel happy about being happy. The joy comes and the desire to fog eat diminishes, and that alone is a huge reward. Of course the less you fog eat the more weight you lose, but that becomes the side effect of joy and not the only endgame.
The difference in the amount of joy you will feel between a size 10 and a size 8 is really miniscule. It is hardly worth the worry if you feel strong and capable and energized. But the difference between obesity and health is huge. It is a shift in your identity worth taking. It will increase the quality of your relationship with yourself.
Being thin for the sake of being thin is empty. Being at your natural weight by eliminating all the reasons you have for fog eating and not caring for yourself is the point. Change the question from, “How do I look?” to “How to I feel?” Then you have got it.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Why is weight loss so slow?
MAY 2007
“There are no failures, only quitters.” –Russell Simmons
“Why is weight loss so slow?”
I have many clients who come to me hoping I will be the magic pill for them. They want to read my book, have some coaching sessions and be thin-instantly. They want me to be the “drive through of weight loss”-instant relief from the pain of being fat.
But my process is not quick and instant. There are other programs out there that deliver faster results. Go on any restrictive diet and follow it religiously, and you will lose weight quickly. It is sooooo tempting to do this, isn’t it? Isn’t it tempting to see the scale move down so you can have some relief from the negative thinking?
This desire for the instant result can also happen when I have clients I have been working with for a long time and they hit a plateau. They sometimes want me to tell them exactly what to eat so they will lose weight faster. And, although I think it is important to change up the fuel now and then and experiment with what fuel feels good in your body; I do not think it is a good idea to resort to quick fixes.
Slow weight loss is permanent weight loss. It isn’t exciting and glamorous. And it certainly isn’t instant. It doesn’t provide the drama of regaining it all back pound by pound either. And most of us know what it is like to intensely diet only to regain the weight and more. I will tell you that this is hard to watch as a coach. Sometimes clients insist on restricting their intake below the hunger scale so they can lose weight quickly, which by the way, is mostly water weight. I silently watch as they get excited over the scale moving down. And no matter how much I try to soften the blow by encouraging them to listen more closely to their bodies and allow joy eating, the euphoria of five pounds down on the scale temporarily wins.
I wait patiently to get past this stage of desperation and restriction. And then sometimes I watch the client regain some weight because they can no longer stay so restrictive with their food, and they are just too damn hungry not to eat. It is challenging for me to listen to my client’s joy flat line as the scale numbers go back up. I know how that feels and it is a difficult thing to watch.
But that is when the real work can begin. When we give up on the magic pill that is when we learn that we are the magic they have been looking for. We have the ability to work hard and feel good about being strong enough to take the journey. We can feel empowered while developing patience with ourselves, and our bodies. And most importantly, we hopefully learn that we don’t have to wait to be thinner to feel good. We don’t have to wait for the scale to give us permission to smile. We can feel at ease in our bodies now.
The results that can be instant and fast are in how you feel. By learning how to change your thoughts and feelings, you can have the instant result of feeling better within your body and at the weight you are now. When you do this work and feel better now, you won’t be in such a hurry to lose weight. You will find that you have the patience to do it right so it can be long lasting and no longer a struggle.
Being light begins on the inside and radiates out. It is a feeling first and a manifestation next. Eating fuel and exercising is the only non-surgical way to lose weight permanently. Learning how to deal with the emotions that cause fog eating and changing the amount of joy in your life is something you can do right now-while you are losing weight slowly.
If you lose weight in a kind, gentle and self-realizing way, you will have the rest of your life to be thin.
With wishes of much joy,
Brooke
“There are no failures, only quitters.” –Russell Simmons
“Why is weight loss so slow?”
I have many clients who come to me hoping I will be the magic pill for them. They want to read my book, have some coaching sessions and be thin-instantly. They want me to be the “drive through of weight loss”-instant relief from the pain of being fat.
But my process is not quick and instant. There are other programs out there that deliver faster results. Go on any restrictive diet and follow it religiously, and you will lose weight quickly. It is sooooo tempting to do this, isn’t it? Isn’t it tempting to see the scale move down so you can have some relief from the negative thinking?
This desire for the instant result can also happen when I have clients I have been working with for a long time and they hit a plateau. They sometimes want me to tell them exactly what to eat so they will lose weight faster. And, although I think it is important to change up the fuel now and then and experiment with what fuel feels good in your body; I do not think it is a good idea to resort to quick fixes.
Slow weight loss is permanent weight loss. It isn’t exciting and glamorous. And it certainly isn’t instant. It doesn’t provide the drama of regaining it all back pound by pound either. And most of us know what it is like to intensely diet only to regain the weight and more. I will tell you that this is hard to watch as a coach. Sometimes clients insist on restricting their intake below the hunger scale so they can lose weight quickly, which by the way, is mostly water weight. I silently watch as they get excited over the scale moving down. And no matter how much I try to soften the blow by encouraging them to listen more closely to their bodies and allow joy eating, the euphoria of five pounds down on the scale temporarily wins.
I wait patiently to get past this stage of desperation and restriction. And then sometimes I watch the client regain some weight because they can no longer stay so restrictive with their food, and they are just too damn hungry not to eat. It is challenging for me to listen to my client’s joy flat line as the scale numbers go back up. I know how that feels and it is a difficult thing to watch.
But that is when the real work can begin. When we give up on the magic pill that is when we learn that we are the magic they have been looking for. We have the ability to work hard and feel good about being strong enough to take the journey. We can feel empowered while developing patience with ourselves, and our bodies. And most importantly, we hopefully learn that we don’t have to wait to be thinner to feel good. We don’t have to wait for the scale to give us permission to smile. We can feel at ease in our bodies now.
The results that can be instant and fast are in how you feel. By learning how to change your thoughts and feelings, you can have the instant result of feeling better within your body and at the weight you are now. When you do this work and feel better now, you won’t be in such a hurry to lose weight. You will find that you have the patience to do it right so it can be long lasting and no longer a struggle.
Being light begins on the inside and radiates out. It is a feeling first and a manifestation next. Eating fuel and exercising is the only non-surgical way to lose weight permanently. Learning how to deal with the emotions that cause fog eating and changing the amount of joy in your life is something you can do right now-while you are losing weight slowly.
If you lose weight in a kind, gentle and self-realizing way, you will have the rest of your life to be thin.
With wishes of much joy,
Brooke
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